Hakunamatata...it means no worries...that’s what the members of this team has created...an atmosphere where we can share the worries & forget about it...have a laugh...lets cry together...angry with one person? Let it out...I love this people...they are capable of everything...they always provide a shoulder to lean on...wait, in our case shoulders...=P yet you guys don’t know that I have all the worries in the world when playing netball in tournaments with you guys...

It took me quite a while to build up the courage to write this post...but I have to say it...what I have been feeling since I joined this unique team...2004...where it starts...recruiting people to play in the competition...they choose me...of course I agree...why not? Netball is fun! ;)

After some time...I do realise some things...I can play netball...BUT I am not good at it...you hakunas whom I know my whole life in ms will try to deny this...but hey guys it’s time for the truth...you guys see how I play in games...honestly, deep inside me I wonder why you guys chose me...I know why because you guys are my friends...you don’t have the gut to say that I suck at it...hahaha...at this point I know what you guys are thinking...”Am~it doesn’t matter if we win or lose what’s important is we have fun, ok?”...the soothing words I always listen to...

I wanna get this over with...this feeling I have been keeping for years...I feel like I don’t belong in this group ‘netball wise’ get it? I’m not even some amateur who you can polished over time to become professional player...I am just a girl who loves to play netball...you guys are...in my eyes...professional...handal kali ah~cmon most of you guys join school team, if not you guys are still athletic, speaking of which I’m still lacking in that area...

Every time there’s a school tournament coming up I would have a hard time at home debating with myself whether I wanna join the team or not...in the end I always join...coz I know I will disappoint you guys if I said I don’t wanna join without a valid reason...though I can see it again...me disappointing you guys in the game...I know, I know you guys are denying this yet again...but hey~no matter how you guys look at it I always feel it...every time I’m standing in that court I feel disappointment...the ball just seems to slip away from me every time (or in some cases it doesn’t even reach me)...that feeling really sucks...trust me...

Then if we lose, I can feel all the burden & guilt is on me though you guys may never see it this way...I do...especially last year (last year kh? Or last2 year?)...remember we cried after we lose to the teachers team kali...I cried...but because I think it’s my fault...I was GK that time...sigh~sorry you guys =’(

Same case applied to interschool badminton...why the heck did they choose me??? OMG~i can’t believe it...I’m just thankful that I was not chosen to play on the real day....just as reserve...proving that I’m not good enough to play...on the bright side all that training do make me fit a bit...but I still suck at badminton...geez~

In conclusion, I think people chose me because I’m their friend or they don’t have enough player...hahahahaha....banar~though no one admit to it yet....people, I know where I stand...I know my capabilities...you guys are the best friends I can ever have...thanks for never saying that I suck at netball & badminton...though in reality I suck big time in both sports...LOL! If you guys did notice this before how come you guys never tell me??? You know it would lift my feeling a bit...

I’m glad I finally tell you guys this...thank you very much my friends =)